I blog for Change…

As I attempt to orient the windy and often treacherous roads that encapsulate life, here are some of my thoughts on the successes, failures and ultimately the hope and positivity in which I strive for a better world. I also hope that I can use this blog as a platform to elevate the social justice issues that are somewhat forgotten in the modern discourse of staying silent on issues that challenge. Sx

The Pervasive Loneliness…

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I have drafted a few pieces about the concept of loneliness. It’s definitely an element, an emotion and an entity which society perceives as being that of a persona non grata. Everywhere you look we are prompted to view the ‘win’ in life as that of being coupled up in neat pairs. What society doesn’t tell you however is that often times we feel so pressured to conform to this ideal that we forget about what we want for ourselves as individuals.

I’ve gone through times in my life where I’ve attempted to fill every single second of my time in order to avoid that feeling of loneliness. What I have come to understand over time however is that there is indeed a difference between pervasive loneliness and being alone.

The truth is that we are and will be alone for most points, moments and events in our lives. In fact it’s been in the moments when I have too hastily entered into a relationship or situation for entirely the wrong reasons that I have felt the most alone even though I am surrounded by people.

The past few years of my life have ushered in a series of painful but necessary experiences which have seen me walk the path towards my future by myself. However had this have not happened I am not entirely sure that I would have any idea of the person I am, what I want for my life and what I am infinitely most capable of. I wouldn’t have understood that the power of my voice and the influence for good I have in sharing my weakest points, vulnerabilities and debilitating insecurities has evolved from taking the journey up to this point alone.

Yes, there have been moments in my life where the loneliness has been palpable in its intensity. But when I have dug deeper the feeling at the heart of the emotion is not entirely one of my own volition. In fact it is one that has been for the most part projected upon me in order to avoid the societal fear of being labelled as ‘lonely and alone’.

To be alone is not the shameful thing that the popular discourse would have you believe. It is in fact a necessary part of growth and development. Sure loneliness is inevitable as we are sensitive human beings after all just looking for love and acceptance. But don’t make the mistake of believing that your future is tied to someone else’s presence in your life.

I am a firm believer of what is supposed to be will be. You cannot escape your destiny even if you actively tried to. Be patient, continue to plug away at your goals and remember that your individual power is enough to change this world. So go ahead and be comfortable in your status of being alone. Sit with that nagging loneliness when it surfaces and meet it without the fear that society would have you believe is your only response in that moment.

Success, love and abundance are coming for you. In fact the key to accessing them is to be found within you. You as a sole entity! So have the patience to harness your own energy towards the future you want, no one else can do that for you.



Author: es.el.gee

Sabene is a development practitioner, activist, writer, blogger and intersectional feminist. She currently works for CBM Australia and manages its East Africa & Philippines portfolio of Community Based Inclusive Development programs. Sabene’s expertise specialises in the intersection of gender and disability. She is passionate about equality and social justice and serves as the founder and editor of SpeakYoTruth, an online publication aiming to elevate the voice of women, specifically women of colour, women with disabilities and those who identify as LGBTQI. The platform seeks to create a safe space for women to speak their own unique stories and raise issues which are most important to them as individuals.

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