As I approach my 30’s I often wonder about how much I’ve changed and if the naivety and recklessness of my youth has now passed and transitioned into that which is associated with adulthood. As children we look to the adults in our lives and feel utterly in awe of the responsible people they are. This is twofold when it comes to our parents who we envision as faultless in their rationale and dependability.
For me personally I’ve held myself to ‘proper adulting’ standards but fallen short oh so many times. I’ve always then chastised myself for not ‘adulting’ properly by which every decision I make and action I take is firmly rooted in logic and forward planning. In this instance I have to refer to the penultimate episode of the last season of Girls in which two women who have hurt each so deeply and at times, so intentionally, turn to one another and proclaim that ‘we’re all just doing the best we can’. In most instances it is nowhere near enough but perhaps the freedom and beauty here is in admitting that and still being a part of each other’s lives.
No matter how much we age or stumble forward in life, by nature we are inherently flawed beings. In our chase of attempting to be that being of utter maturity, responsibility and grace we tend to forget the things that make us human. Mistakes, self-interest and missteps are a part of the human condition. They are an inevitable component of our interactions with each other. Perfection is not something that comes with the ageing process. Instead, more accurately we learn to accept these faux pas as a part of living. We view maturity as understanding that the human race is indeed imperfect and the future will probably be filled with some things that we are not proud of. But at the end of the day this life that we lead is an experiment. There is no equation for how to be a proper adult or a set standard for when this should happen.
So maybe instead of tearing one another a part for the lack of progress to an unobtainable mould of what maturity should look like, we should instead be kinder to ourselves. Perhaps the act of simply getting up every day, recognising our past faults and trying that little bit harder to be a better person than we were yesterday is the ultimate definition of being an adult.