I’ve done some reflecting lately on fear and how that relates to my life on a daily basis. As you get older you tend to worry more often about whether your life journey is on the right track. In an existence where we never receive a sign as to whether or not we have made the right choice towards any decision, how do we know if we’ve made a wrong turn, veered off path or missed an opportunity? This line of thinking for many of us then sends us on the ‘what am I doing with my life’ spiral.
I had one of these at the start of this year in which I would better liken to an actual existential crisis. I found myself questioning if I was squandering my talents and my gifts by focusing on the wrong elements of a specific career path and therefore unexpectedly boxing myself in. I began to wonder if I was stifling my creativity and therefore turning a blind eye to the pursuits that make me happy and joyous and ultimately free. I couldn’t help but look around and take notice of all the badasses that were killing it with their artistry, their voice and their originality. I kept evaluating myself against their freedom within this and thus paling in meagre comparison to this carefree and pure existence.
What I didn’t see then was that I am in fact living my own dream and practising my very own unique form of artistry. I remembered all of the reasons why I got involved in the international development industry. I recalled feeling that passion each and every day of my existence which pushed me to advocate for social change. I reminded myself of how I contribute to that change through my writing, through my agency and through my voice when I speak up against the endemic discrimination that faces too many in this world.
So here I am, in all my freedom, creativity, wildness and flair presenting myself as me: a development worker, humanitarian, writer, blogger, feminist and activist. My artistry matters because it contributes to social change and building a society in which we are equal and free from discrimination & oppression. Free to express ourselves and love how and who we want and free to contribute to the development of our own journeys however they are formed and wherever they may lead to.