I blog for Change…

As I attempt to orient the windy and often treacherous roads that encapsulate life, here are some of my thoughts on the successes, failures and ultimately the hope and positivity in which I strive for a better world. I also hope that I can use this blog as a platform to elevate the social justice issues that are somewhat forgotten in the modern discourse of staying silent on issues that challenge. Sx

An Accidental Reassess..

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I opened my journal up for the first time in a very long time this morning and was met by 2 main feelings which were quite polarising and different in nature. The first being utter dismay at how long it had been since my last entry; the date read 01st of March 2016 – had it seriously been that long?! However, the 2nd feeling I had was one of dual surprise and accomplishment considering that the progress I had made on the very last thing I wrote about being committed to over the coming year.

The closing lines of my entry in March proclaimed my pledge to the following 4 things:

  • Self-Healing
  • Health & Wellbeing
  • Career progression
  • My living situation

Reflecting back on my year so far, I’ve actually made so much more progress on all 4 of these elements than I would have realised had I not decided to open up my journal today. I mean healing myself has been the 101 go-to and life mantra for my existence this year. I’ve come to understand that so many of my bad habits stem from deep seated and unresolved issues which go back a long way back.

I’ve had a problematic relationship with food for as long as I can remember and used this source as my weapon of choice to either dull the pain of life or eat my emotions away. This has also meant that my health and wellbeing has never really been that great as my sense of indulgence tends to peak whenever I’m hit with an emotion I don’t want to deal with or one that overwhelms me. In saying that though, I feel like the biggest achievement towards correcting this during the year has been to identify it and acknowledge its existence. I now know what my triggers are and I’m working towards correcting them safely and steadily.

This year I have also finally stopped complaining about my living situation and done something about it. Financially it hasn’t been at all easy, and most probably won’t be for a while yet, but it has been worth it. For too long I placed the onus for change in my life on external forces without taking the responsibility myself, which is an easy but unrewarding way to live.

In terms of career progression, well I haven’t progressed in terms of my designation but I’m learning every day. I also now understand the importance of patience and consistency within life pursuits. I’m currently in a space in which I am solidifying the path to greater things in my future by being intentional in my actions and exhibiting stability in all my endeavours. I’m committed to taking a steady pace towards forming a solid foundation in which to build on, and the truth is that’s ok for now.

So in taking stock of tracking my progress on the initial objectives I set earlier in the year, I’m much farther along that I would have ever given myself credit for. I also have to practice a certain amount of gratitude today to whatever force got me to open up that journal.

Progress on 2016 action points & goals – ON TRACK.




Author: es.el.gee

Sabene is a development practitioner, activist, writer, blogger and intersectional feminist. She currently works for CBM Australia and manages its India portfolio of Community Based Inclusive Development programs. Sabene’s expertise specialises in the intersection of gender and disability with a specific focus on South Asia and the Pacific. She is passionate about equality and social justice and serves as the Co-Director of Catalyst Co-Lab, an advocacy and rights based group which aims to raise awareness and empower active citizens and agents of change.

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