I’ve wanted to explore the idea of comfort and why we all chase it so persistently for a while now. Whether it’s within food, another person or whatever other avenues are open to us, it seems to be a never ending and often narcissistic route to which we choose to endeavour upon quite consistently. It’s almost as if we feel that something is amiss at a level which we don’t always connect with or understand, but are aware of that sensation nonetheless. We then attempt to fill that void in whatever way possible.
I, for one am definitively adept at self-sabotaging in order to seek comfort in these moments. Because I can’t quite envision the long distance gains, I am in constant pursuit of the short term wins. Those fleeting moments of comfort and bliss, which never actually last and each time I endeavour upon them seem to be shorter and less satisfying; and yet I can’t seem to stop myself be a willing participant on this slide which soon spirals out of control.
I know that I am a rational human being, so what is it that motivates me to throw this to the wind at the times in which I seek comfort the most. Is it that I don’t believe enough? Perhaps, that I don’t quite understand the level of my worth deeply enough? What exactly is the reasoning behind my quick fix comfort solutions?
In thinking about this more deeply I’ve come up with a few ‘maybe this the contributing factor’ ideas. Some of which revolve around my inherent lack of patience. For longer than I can remember I have always been that person that has wanted it all right this very second. When I get an idea into my head, I can’t and won’t stop until I attain it; an element that has all too often gotten me into trouble. I am an all or nothing person but the more I think about it, the more I realise that its essence derives from a deeper place than my inability to show patience or restraint.
My issues with comfort come from a location within my psyche whereby my heart knows that something needs to change, but my head and my rationale are unwilling to take that chance towards a new direction. So instead, I reach for a quick fix to soothe that deep seated unease which of course is never enough because it doesn’t resolve the true issue at hand.
So the next time I reach for that comfort hit of food or the bliss that comes with interaction with that charming but destructive person, I vow to stop. I pledge to press pause, to just simply sit with my thoughts and then when I am ready, hit the reset button and embark on that difficult but necessary path towards betterment.